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INTRO..... "PUMPKIN PUT SOME MUSIC ON, I FEEL LIKE DANCIN'." "HOLD ON
SUGA',I'M FIXIN' TO RIGHT NOW.....3,6,4..AWRIGHT,NOW COME
OVER HERE WOMAN, LET'S GET THIS SHINDIG STARTED,WOO!C'MON
EVERYBODY!.......NOW WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS
JUKE MACHINE?""BE WARNED,MY CHILDREN...SIX WILL VISIT...
FOLLOWED BY THE CRUMBLING OF TIME ITSELF.BEFORE THE COMING
OF TIME ITSELF. BEFORE THE COMING OF SHANGRI-LA, A DARK
CARNIVAL WILL SWEEP ACROSS THE LAND,AS A SHADOW,PLAGUED WITH
DESTRUCTION. A PARADE OF FREAKS, JUGGLERS,AND DEATH. THIS
WRETCHED NIGHTMARE IS LED BY SIX FACES. THREE HAVE COME,
THREE HAVE GONE. THE FOURTH EMERGES NOW. HE WALKS AMONG US
AS A SHADOW,VOID OF LIGHT,POWERED BY YOUR OWN DARKNESS,
STRENGHTENED BY YOUR OWN WICKEDRY. A HORRID REFLECTION OF
YOUR VERY OWN DEEP DESIRES CAST AND REFLECTED BACK UPON
YOURSELF. BROTHERS AND SISTERS! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE
NECROMASTER. THE UNLEASHING OF THE FOURTH JOKER'S CARD...THE
ARRIVAL OF...THE GREAT MILENKO,MILENKO,MILENKO..." "THIS
DAMN THING! MARIANNE WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS
MUSIC BOX?" "DON'T MIND THAT THING HONEY, IT DOES THAT ALL
THE TIME!"
GREAT
MILENKO... GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HAAA),GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM
HA HA HA HA),GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),GREAT MILENKO
(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)!(REPEAT) COME ONE,COME ALL,AND
WITNESS MAGIC! I INTRODUCE TO YOU AN OCCULT SORCERER OF THE
ANCIENT CRAFT OF NECROMANCY. A CASTER OF MIND BENDING
ILLUSIONS,FROM THE NETHER VOID OF THE SHADOW WALKERS,EXCEL
FROM SHANGRI-LA,THE GREAT MILENKO. GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA
HA),GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)GREAT MILENKO(HA
HA HA HA HA),GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)!
(REPEAT TWICE) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,WITNESS THE KEEPER OF
ARCANE,WICKED VOODOO MAGIC. A BEGUILER OF SPELLS,HEXES,AND
CURSES,WITH THE HELP OF POTIONS,TALISMANS,AND ANCIENT RELICS
FROM THE FORBIDDEN REALMS OF THE DARK CARNIVAL. LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN,THE GREAT MILENKO! GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),
GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA) GREAT MILENKO (HA HA
HA HA HA) GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA) (REPEAT
TWICE)
HOCUS
POKUS..... SERIAL SLAUGHTERING STRANGLERS, JUGGLIN JUGGLIN JUGGALERS,
FOLDED FAT FLOPPY-TITTIED FREAKS,IC FUCKIN P'S IN THE HAUGH!
ABRACADABRA! BOOM SHACKA DAY, I'M VIOLENT J AND I'M BACK LIKE A
A VERTABRATE. AND I COME WITH A HAT FULL OF TRICKS,TRUNK
FULL OF FAYGO, CAR FULL OF FAT CHICKS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,
FUCK YOU. WICKED CLOWNS, WE'D LIKE TO SAY WHASSUP TO THE
COBRA'S,X-MEN,AND COUNTS, AND EVERYBODY WITH CLOWN LOVE,
EVEN SETS I'VE NEVER HEARD OF. ROLL INTO TOWN AND OUT WITH
THE BIG TOP, FOUR CARDS DOWN,AND TWO MORE STILL TO DROP. AND
WHEN IT DOES,I PACK UP AND HIT THE ROAD, CUZ I DON'T WANNA
SEE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE! TOSS ME AN AXE AND I'LL TOSS YOU A
DEAD CHICKEN, ADD A BUCK, YOU GET A TWO-LITER WITH EM'! AND
WHEN THE GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW, ITS HOKUS POKUS JOKERS
GREAT MILENKO! HOKUS POKUS JOKERS RIDE, COME TAKE A SPIN ON
A CARNEY RIDE!(REPEAT) SHAZAM!BAM!SHAGALAGALOKUS, SHAGGY THE
CLOWN BACK LIKE SCOLIOSIS. CALL ME A PSYCHO SKITZO FREAK,
AND I'LL CALL YOU BY YOUR NAME-DICKANUS! CUZ I COULD GIVE
TWO SHITS AND A FUCK! I BOUNCED ON VERNOR IN A POPCORN
CLOWN TRUCK. I'M A CIRCUS NINJA SOUTHWEST VOODOO WIZARD, I'LL
GRAB YOUR GIZZARD! JUMP ON THE CARPET,LET'S TAKE A SPIN,
EVERYBODY'S WAITIN FOR THE SHOW TO BEGIN. UP TO THE TOP,BY
THE NECK,AND LET YOU GO. TRY TO LAND IN A GLASS OF FAYGO.
UH-YOU SUCK, YOU MISSED THE FUCKIN GLASS, BROKE YOUR NECK,
AND BUSTED YOUR FUCKIN ASS. BUT THE GEIE SAYS ON WITH THE
SHOW,HOKUS POKUS JOKERS,GREAT MILENKO! HOKUS POKUS JOKERS
RIDE,COME TAKE A SPIN ON A CARNEY RIDE!(REPEAT)
RUDE BOY AND CHUCKY,DOWN WITH THE CLOWN. THE FIRST TIME WE
EVER WENT TO MEXICAN TOWN. I REMEMBER WE COULDN'T PAY THE
BILL,THEY GOT HOT,AND BEAT US DOWN IN THE FUCKING PARKING
LOT. TALL TESS,JUMPSTEADY,AND NATE THE MACK,TAGGED ICP BY
THE TRAIN TRACKS. AND IT WAS ON,THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY,
MAGICAL CARPET SCREAMING DOWN THE FREEWAY.WALKED IN A
GYPSY'S TENT WITH A FOOD STAMP,WALKED OUT WITH A MAGICAL
LAMP,YEAH. I MET MILENKO,HE GAVE ME THREE WISHES. THAT
NIGHT,I FUCKED THREE FAT BITCHES. THEN GET THE FUCK WITH
IT,FORGET IT! I'LL RIP YOUR FACE OFF AND WIPE MY ASS WITH
IT! WHEN THE GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW,HOKUS POKUS
JOKERS,GREAT MILENKO! HOKUS POKUS JOKERS RIDE,COME TAKE A
SPIN ON A CARNEY RIDE!(REPEAT QUITE A FEW TIMES)
PIGGY
PIE....... COME AND GET IT!!!WOO!! WE GOT SOME FRESH FILLS FOR YOUR FAT
CHICKEN ASS TO SNACK ON BITCH! SO HER,START WITH A SLICE OF
THIS FRESH PIGGY PIE,MOTHER FUCKA!! THE FIRST LITTLE PIGGY,
HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF WOOD. HE LIVES IN THE CHICKEN TURKEY
PIGGY NEIGHBORHOOD. HE LIKES TO FUCK HIS SISTER,AND DRINK
HIS MOONSHINE. A TYPICAL REDNECK FILTHY FUCKING SWINE. I
RODE INTO TOWN WITH MY AX IN MY HOLSTER,EVERYBODY KNOWS
ABOUT THE WICKED PIGGY ROASTER. A FARMER AT THE BORDER,HE
TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT,I DREW MY AX WITH THE QUICKNESS,AND
CUT HIS CHICKEN FEATHERS OUT! WALKED IN THE VILLAGE,INTO
THE PIGGY'S PLACE,HE OPENED UP THE DOOR,AND POPPED ME IN THE
FACE! IT BLEW ME OFF THE PORCH,AND CRACKED MY HEAD IN HALF,
BUT I'M A JUGGALO SO IT ONLY MADE ME LAUGH!(HEHE) FORTY IN
HAND,I ROSE FROM THE DEAD,AND THREW WITH ALL MY MIGHT,MADE A
PIG NOISE OFF HIS HEAD. AND SINCE WE OUT WEST,I HAD A LITTLE
FUN,AND PULLED HIS FUCKIN' TONGUE OUT THE BACK OF HIS
CRANIUM! THREE LITTLE PIGGIES,TO MAKE A PIGGY PIE,THERE'S
NOTHING LIKE THE SOUND WHEN YOU HEAR A PIGGY CRY! I MIGHT
USE A GUN(NO)! I MIGHT USE AN AX(YES)! THE CARNIVAL'S IN
TOWN,COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS! THE SECOND LITTLE
PIGGY,HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF BRICK. AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY IS
A MOTHER FUCKIN' DICK! HE SITS ON HIS BENCH AMD GETS ALL
THE RESPECT,BUT IF I GET A CHANCE,I'M GOING STRAIGHT FOR
THE NECK! HE WALKED IN THE ROOM,AND EVERYBODY ROSE,LOPPED
OFF BUCKET CHILLIN' UNDERNEATH MY CLOTHES. FIRST THEY LET
THE PIGGY,NOW YOU CAN FINALLY SIT,BUT WHAT THIS PIGGY DON'T
KNOW IS HE'S ABOUT TO GET HIS NECK WET! NOW I SEE THE
BAILIFF,I'M THINKING WHAT THE FUCK? I CAN SMOKE THIS ROOM
BEFORE HIS HEARING AID WILL PICK ITUP! OLD ASS MAN,I LET
HIM GET AWAY,THAT TIRED MOTHER FUCKER PROBABLY DIE TOMORROW
ANYWAY. HERE COME THE PIGGY,IT'S TIME FOR MY CASE,HIS EYES
ARE BLOOD RED WITH A WICKED LOOKING FACE. HE SAW MY JOKER'S
SMILE,AND SENTENCED ME A DIME,SO I RACKED HIM WITH THE BUCKET
MADE IT FUCKIN' RAIN PORK RINDS! THREE LITTLE PIGGIES TO
MAKE A PIGGY PIE,THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE SOUND WHEN YOU
HEAR A PIGGY CRY. I MIGHT USE A GUN(NO)! I MIGHT USE AN AX
(YES)! THE CARNIVAL'S IN TOWN COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS!
THE LAST LITTLE PIGGY,HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF GOLD. HE LIVES
IN A MANSION ON HIS OWN PRIVATE ROAD. I STARTED WALKING DOWN IT,
THE GUARD HE TOLD ME WAIT,I BOUNCED OFF HIS HEAD AND DID A
JACKIE CHAN OVER THE GATE. CUZ THIS LITTLE PIGGY MUST
DEFINATELY FRY, I'M A LOP HIS NUGGET OFF AND TOSS IT IN THE
SKY. THEN I WATCHED THE MOON TAKE THE FORM OF THE DEVIL,
AND PULL IT OUT THE SKY,AND BEAT IT WITH A SHOVEL! PEOPLE
IN MY CITY,THEY FIGHT FOR THEIR MEALS,HE SLEEPS ON A MATTRESS
STUFFED WITH HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. A RICHIE IS THE DEVIL,HE
NEVER REALLY MADE IT,SO I'M A TAKE HIS MONEY STACK AND STUFF
HIS FACE WITH IT! OPENED UP HIS DOOR,HE'S SLEEPING IN HIS
BED,I GRABBED A BRICK AND ROLLER-LAID IT UPSIDE HIS HEAD.
HE BEGGED FOR HIS LIFE,I TOLD HIM IT'S TOO LATE,AND TOOK
AWAY HIS DOUGH AND WATCHED THE DEVIL SUFFOCATE,CUZ I NEED
THREE LITTLE PIGGIES TO MAKE A PIGGY PIE,THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE THE SOUND WHEN YOU HEAR A PIGGY CRY. I MIGHT USE A
GUN(NO)! I MIGHT USE AN AX(YES)! THE CARNIVAL'S IN TOWN
COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS! (REPEAT THREE TIMES)
.......... (RRRRRING!!) "HOTLINE." "H-HELLO?" "WHATS UP?" "WHATS UP?
I'M NOT SURE THAT I WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE,THATS WHATS UP!"
"HOLD ON!!!(FAST MUSIC)HELLOOO!" "I-I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK
TO." "CALL YOUR MOM." "MY MOTHER DIED LAST YEAR." "SERVES
HER RIGHT,BITCH!HAHAHAHA!I'M JUST PLAYIN' FUCK NUTS. LISTEN,
WHENEVER YOU'RE FEELIN' LOW,JUST PAGE ME AND I'LL CALL YOU."
"YOU WILL?" "SURE...I'LL CALL YOU A NERDY BITCH! FOR BOTHERIN'
ME! NOW,DON'T BLOW YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF!" "WHY NOT? WHO
CARES IF I DO?" "THE POOR GUY WHOS GOTTA CLEAN THAT SHIT UP!
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT,DO IT OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING!" "YOU
THINK I WON'T REALLY DO IT,DON'T YOU?" "HONESTLY,I COULD
GIVE A RATS ASS!" "YOU THINK I WON'T HUH? YOU THINK I'M
KIDDING? YOU THINK I'M-" "DO IT! DO IT FUCKER! BRING ME THE
GUN AND I'LL FUCKIN DO IT FOR YOU!" BOOM! "HELLO? HELLO?
ARE YOU THERE?" "H-HELLO?" "I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T DO IT,YOU
SCARY BITCH!"
HOW MANY
TIMES?.... HOW MANY TIMES WILL I ASK MYSELF WHY,HOW MANY TIMES? HOW
MANY TIMES WILL I ASK MYSELF WHY,HOW MANY TIMES WILL I CRY?
HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU HONK YOUR HORN AND SAY FUCK YOU?
NOW WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT DO? YOU FEEL BETTER NOW? I DIDN'T
LET YOU PASS,HOW BOUT I STOP MY CAR AND BEAT YOUR FUCKING
ASS? HOW MANY TIMES WILL MY NEIGHBOR BEAT HIS WIFE? SOMEWHERE
IN THAT HOUSE IS A BUTCHER'S KNIFE. FUCKIN DRUNK,SWINGING HIS
FISTS ABOUT,WHY DON'T YOU WAIT TILL HE SLLEPS AND TAKE HIM
OUT?! HOW MANY TIMES WILL I SIT IN A HOT CAR? TRAFFIC JAM,
BEEN SITTING FOR A FUCKING HOUR! MUST BE AN ACCIDENT,I HOPE
NOBODY DIED! FINALLY GET THERE AND THE CRASH IS ON THE OTHER
SIDE! THE GAWKERS ROLL BY AND CREEP SLOW,HOPING THEY CAN SEE
A MANGLED BODY SHOW. SOME PARK,AND STAND THERE AND WATCH IT
ALL,WITH THEIR KIDS,THEY POINT AND FUCKIN STARE!(AND JUST
LOOK!) I REMEMBER ONE TIME I WAS PULLED OVER,HANDCUFFED,THE
COP WAS LIKE,SHOW'S OVER. PEOPLE WATCHING,HOPING THAT HE
SHOOTS ME,I JUST WANTED TO CHOKE THEIR FUCKIN HEADS!
(CHORUS 2X)
HOW MANY TIMES WILL I WAIT IN A LINE? ITS THREE THIRTY,I FUCKIN
GOT HERE AT NINE! I'M FINALLY UP TO THE FRONT,CAN'T WAIT
ANOTHER MINUTE,WHY AM I HERE? TO PAY A FUCKING PARKING
TICKET! THE LADY AT THE COUNTER ACTS LIKE A FUCKING BITCH,
NO SMILES,NO HELP,YOU'RE JUST A PIECE OF SHIT! I'M GETTIN
PISSED,CALM DOWN,FUCK IT,FORGET IT,BACK TO MY CAR AND THERE
IT IS ANOTHER TICKET! HOW MANY TIMES WILL A CRACKHEAD SMOKE
CRACK? AND ASK ME FOR MONEY CUZ HE WANTS CRACK. GIVE HIM
MONEY,AGAIN,HE'S COMING BACK,WALK AWAY AND HERE'S ANOTHER
"GIMME CRACK." HOW MANY TIMES WILL A KID GIVE A DIRTY LOOK,
A LITTLE PUNK ASS BITCH TRYING TO BE A CROOK. I WROTE THE
BOOK,I WAS OUT ROBBING LIQUOR STORES,WHEN YOU WERE JUST A
NUT STAIN IN YOUR MAMA'S DRAWERS! (CHORUS 2X)
HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU STEAL MY CAR STEREO? IT DON'T EVEN
WORK,YOU FEEL LIKE A BITCH DONTCHA? I VACUUM ALL THE FUCKING
GLASS OFF FROM THE SEAT,I SIT DOWN,I GOT A PIECE STUCK IN MY
BUTTCHEEK. HOW MANY TIMES DID I WALK IN AND JUST SIT,AND HAVE
TO LISTEN AND LEARN ALL THIS BULLSHIT? LEARNING HISTORY
AND SCIENCE,FUCKIN' WAIT,KNOWING THAT,WILL THAT PUT FOOD ON
MY PLATE? CAN I WALK INTO MCDONALD'S UP TO THE COUNTER,AND TELL
THEM YOU CAN MAKE LIMESTONE FROM GUNPOWDER,WILL THEY GIVE
ME A CHEESEBURGER IF I KNOW THAT SHIT? FUCK NO,FUCK YOU,AND SHUT
YOUR FUCKIN LIP! HOW MANY TIMES WILL A JUDGE DECIDE MY FATE?
WHO IS HE? A BITCH,NOTHING GREAT. HE TAKES SHITS,AND FUCKS
HIS OLD FLOPPY WIFE,PLAYS WITH HIS BALLS AND JUDGES MY LIFE!
(AND WHO THE FUCK IS HE? HE JUDGES MY LIFE!) (CHORUS4X)
.......... "DOG,I PEELS CAPS ALL DAY LONG,MUTHA FUCKA. THEY CALL ME THE
BIG WHEELER CAP PEELER,YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? I RUN THIS
WHOLE MUTHA FUCKA. THE WHOLE BLOCK,DOG. THEY CALL ME THE
KING,THE BIG KING. KING KILLER BIG WHEELER CAP PEELER,YEAH.
THATS WHAT THEY CALL ME AROUND THIS MUTHA FUCKA. I RUN THIS
BITCH. I GOT THIS BITCH LOCKED DOWN. I'M A BIG GANG BANGA,
MAN. I'M A GANG BANGA,MUTHA FUCKA. SEE,THEY AIN'T THINK WE
WAS GANG BANGIN' OUT IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,BUT THEY DON'T
KNOW ABOUT ME AND MY CLINK,DOG. AND IF YOU ALL WANNA BE DOWN,
SHIT,WE CAN SIT DOWN AND TALK,YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?"
"BOBBY!!!!GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND FINISH YOUR
HOMEWORK!!!!" "UH,HERE I COME! AW,DOG,I GOTTA GO MAN. BUT
LOOK,MEET ME HERE TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL. OH WAIT,I GOT YEARBOOK.
ALRIGHT,MEET ME HERE AROUND FIVE-THIRTY TOMORROW,DOG. ALRIGHT
GUYS,PEACE."
"I HOPE HE DOESN'T GET GROUNDED,DUDE." "YEAH,CUZ THEN WE
COULDN'T BE GANG BANGERS."
SOUTHWEST
VOODOO.... VOODOO RUNNIN' FROM MY MAGIC.... RAY-KAY-SHAY,SHOOGA-BOOGA-
BA,SOUTHWEST VOODOO'S IN THE HAUGH! WICKED VOODOO DOPED UP
KILLA! MAGIC,DARK MAGIC,YO.
MET THIS KID NAMED LOUIE-LOU,WHO THOUGH HE COULD FUCK WITH
THIS VOODOO,SO I TURNED HIS HEAD INTO A LIMA BEAN,AND THEN
FLICKED IT OFF HIS SHOULDERS. FROM MOOKAN HOUSE TO SHANGRI-
LA, EGYPTIAN PHAROAH,KUMPA-TA. FOLLOW ME,AND JOIN US AS WE
PRAY TO THE SEVENTEEN MOONS OF KUNGA DELRAY. WALKED IN THE
LUNCHROOM CHANTING SPELLS,WITH BAMBOO BITCHES AND VOODOO
BELLS. GOT MY OWN FOOD,WHO WANTS SOME? I GOT POSSUM NIPPLES
AND RACOON TONGUE. A NON-BELIEVER ONCE STARTED TO LAUGH,SO
I LAUNCHED A FIREBALL UP HIS PUNK-ASS. THEN EVERYBODY HEARD
HIM SQUEAL,"THIS VOODOO SHIT'S FOR REAL!" IT JUST TAKES..
A HEAD FROM A NEWT,A WING FROM A BAT,A TONGUE FROM A SNAKE,
A TAIL FROM A RAT,A NECK FROM A CHICKEN,AN EYE FROM A CROW,
AND A LITTLE ITTY-BITTY ITTY DRIP OF FAYGO!! (CHORUS 2X)
GRIPPED OUT VERNOR ON A WINDY NIGHT,YOU SEE VOODOO SCRIBBLINS
IN THE MOONLIGHT. PAINTED ALL ON THE CITY STREETS,ITS THE
ANCIENT CRAFT OF GANG BANGIN'! HEY J! WHATS IN THE BAG? A
SHRUNKEN HEAD AND SHRIVELED SCROTUM SAC! WHY,YOU THINK
VOODOO'S FAKE? COME TO THE GRAVEYARD,I'LL MAKE THE DEAD WAKE!
RAISE,RAISE,SHOGGA-BOOM-BA,SLEEP NO LONGER,RAISE QUICK! RAISE,
RAISE,SHOOGA-BOOM-BA..."LEAVE US ALONE YOU FUCKING PUNK
BITCH!" WELL,FUCK IT,I AIN'T DONE YET,BUT ONE DAY YOU CAN
BET I'M A FREAK! WE'LL MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD DANCE WITH THE
DEAD,AND JUST LIKE MY HOMEY SAID,IT ONLY TAKES-
(PRE CHORUS)(CHORUS2X)
VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC
VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC
VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC
I'LL MAKE A VOODOO DOLL OF YA,AND FLICK YOUR NUTS!
(PRECHORUS2X)(CHORUS2X)
.......... "AND NOW,THE FLYING FRITZ BROTHERS..." "OOOOOOOoooooo....
Ahhhhhhhh.....Ohhhhh....UH!AH!AHHHHHHH!!!" splat.
HALLS OF
ILLUSIONS..TICKET PLEASE,THANKS! WALK THROUGH THE DOORS,INTO THE HALLS
OF ILLUSIONS,VISIT YOURS. AND SEE WHAT COULDA AND SHOULDA
AND WOULDA BEEN REAL,BUT YOU HAD TO FUCK UP THE WHOLE DEAL!
LETS TAKE A WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY,ITS A LONG WAY,TAKES ALL
DAY. AND WHEN WE GET TO THE END YOU'LL FIND A CHAIR WITH STRAPS
AND CHAINS,WE SLAP YOU IN THERE! LOCK YOU DOWN TIGHT SO YOU
CAN'T MOVE A THREAD,AND PULL YOUR EYELIDS UP OVER YOUR HEAD,
CUZ YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS AN ILLUSIONARY DREAM,ITS JUST TOO
BAD IT AIN'T WHAT IT SEEMS! YOU WALK IN AND SEE TWO KIDS ON THE
FLOOR,THY'RE PLAYIN NINTENDO AND HE'S GOT THE HIGH SCORE.
AND SITTIN BEHIND THEM CHILLIN IN THE CHAIR IS YOUR WIFE
WHEN YOU LOOK,OH YOU AIN'T THERE! ITS SOME OTHER MAN AND
THEY'RE HAND IN HAND HOW SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND,SEE THIS IS AN ILLUSION,IT NEVER CAME TRUE...ALL
BECAUSE OF YOU!! BACK TO REALITY AND WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT,
YOUR WIFE CAN'T SMILE CUZ YOU KNOCKED HER TEETH OUT! AND SHE
CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT FROM GETTIN HIT,CUZ YOU'RE A FAT FUCKIN'
DRUNK PIECE OF SHIT! BUT ITS ALL GOOD,HERE,COME HAVE A BEER!
I'LL BREAK THE TOP OFF IT,AND SHOVE IT IN YOUR EAR! AND YOUR
DEATH COMES WICKED PAINFUL AND SLOW,AT THE HANDS OF MILENKO!
GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND
DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE
THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU
WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO
LOOK WHOS NEXT,ITS MR.CLARK,THE DIRTY OLD MAN FROM THE
TRAILER PARK. YOU GOT YOUR TICKET? THANKS! TAKE YOUR COAT
OFF,AND LATER ON,WHY NOT? I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OFF!
LETS TAKE A WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY,ITS A LONG WAY,TAKES ALL
DAY! AND WHEN YOU GAT TO THE END,YOU'LL FIND A CHAIR,YOU
SEE ALL THE BLOOD,YEAH,YOUR BOY WAS JUST HERE! WE GET ALL
DIFFERENT KINDA PEOPLE COMING THROUGH,RICHIES,CHICKENS,AND
BITCHES JUST LIKE YOU! IN THE HALLS,EVERYBODY GETS A TURN,
TO SIT AND WITNESS YOUR ILLUSION BEFORE YOU BURN! WHAT DO
WE HAVE HERE,OH DEAR,NO WAY,IT LOOKS LIKE THE KIDS AND THEY
OK! YOUR DAUGHTERS CHILLEN UP IN COLLEGE,TOP GRADE,AND YOUR
SONS A FUCKIN DOCTOR,FAT PAID! THEY GOT FAMILIES AND KIDS
AND ITS ALL GOOD,THEY EVEN COACH LITTLE LEAGUE IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD! IS THIS TRUE,HAVE YOU REALLY SEEN THE HOLY
GHOST? NAW,BITCH,NOT EVEN CLOSE! BACK TO REALITY,YOUR SONS
ON CRACK,AND YOUR DAUGHTERS GOT NUT STAINS ON HER BACK! AND
THEY BOTH FUCKIN SMELL LIKE SHIT,AND LIVE IN THE GUTTER,AND
SELL CRACK TO EACH OTHER! WHEN THEY WERE KIDS YOU'D BEAT
EM' AND LEAVE EM' HOME,AND EVEN WHIP EM' WITH THE CORD OF
THE TELEPHONE! AND THAT REMINDS ME MAN,HEY YOU GOT A CALL..
WATCH YOUR STEP TO HELL,ITS A LONG FALL!!!
GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND
DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE
THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU
WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO
(REPEAT)
AW..ITS TIME TO PACK UP AND MOVE TO THE NEXT TOWN,BUT WE
FORGOT MR.BIGOT,OK DIG IT,WE CAN'T SHOW YOU AN ILLUSION
CUZ WE'RE ALL PACKED,BUT,I'LL STILL CUT YOUR NECK OUT,
HOWS THAT?
GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND
DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE
THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU
WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO
(REPEAT 3X)
UNDER
THE MOON...I'M STILL HERE..UNDER THE MOON..
I WAS JUST A CHILD BUT YOU SEEMED LIKE SO MUCH MORE,THE WAY
YOU WOULD APPROACH ME AND DRIFT ACROSS THE FLOOR. I'D SEE YOU
IN THE HALL AND YOU'D KISS ME WITH A SMILE,I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
IT,WAS I EVEN WORTH YOUR WHILE? THE OTHER KIDS IN SCHOOL,THEY
WOULD HATE ME AND THEY'D SPIT,CUZ I WAS JUST A NO ONE,TO THEM
I WASN'T SHIT. BUT YOU WOULD ALWAYS HOLD ME AND STAND THERE
BY MY SIDE,WE WERE ONLY 17 WE'D BE TOGETHER TILL WE DIED.
BUT THEN IT ALL HAPPENED,THE EVER DREADFUL DAY,SOMEBODY TRIED
TO RAPE YOU AND I WILL MAKE HIM PAY! YOU POINTED HIM OUT TO
ME,MY THOUGHTS BEGAN TO RACE,I TOOK MY DADDY'S 45 AND SHOT
HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE! I DID IT ALL FOR YOU,AND NOW I'M
FACING YEARS,I WOULD DO THE TIME JUST TO EQUAL ALL YOUR TEARS.
THE LAST THING THAT YOU TOLD ME WHEN I LEFT THE COURTROOM IS
THAT WE'D ALWAYS BE TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON.
"I'LL FOREVER LOVE YOU,EVEN IN YOUR DOOM,WE'LL ALWAYS BE
TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON."
I SIT HERE IN MY CELL AND THE WALLS ARE MADE OF STONE,I
JUSTIFIED YOUR PAIN NOW I SIT ALONE. I WRITE ANOTHER LETTER,
I WRITE ONE EVERYDAY,I NEVER GOT A LETTER BACK,I WRITE THEM
ANYWAY. I TRY TO CALL COLLECT,YOUR NUMBER HAS BEEN CHANGED,
I'M STARING AT THE LIGHT BULB AND I START TO FEEL DERANGED.
YOU NEVER CAME TO VISIT ME,I SIT FACING THE GLASS,NO ONE'S
ON THE OTHER SIDE AND NOW ITS IN THE PAST. MY HEAD IS ALWAYS
SPINNING,I'M POUNDING ON THE WALL,I FEEL LIKE I'M FORGOTTEN,
NO SIGN OF YOU AT ALL. YOU'RE PROBLY GETTING MARRIED,YOU'RE
PROBLY GETTING FUCKED,I'LL BREAK OUT OF THIS CAGE AND TRY
TO CUT THAT MUTHAFUCKER UP! CURL UP IN THE CORNER,MY BODY
WILL CORRODE,MY TEETH ARE TURNING INTO DUST,MY SKIN IS GROWING
MOLD. I'M STARIN' OUT THE WINDOW OF MY ETERNAL DOOM. I KNOW
THAT YOU ARE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH THE MOON.
"I'LL FOREVER LOVE YOU,EVEN IN YOUR DOOM,WE'LL ALWAYS BE
TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON."
MANY MANY YEARS MANY MORE TO GO,DOES SHE STILL REMEMBER? GOD
HE ONLY KNOWS,I NOW BECOME A SAVAGE,THEY CHAIN ME TO A WALL,
I STILL CAN SEE YOUR BODY,I CAN STILL HEAR YA CALL,I'M NOTHIN
BUT A MAGGOT,I'M LOCKED AWAY AND LOST,THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T
WANT ME,MY DIGNITY IS TOSSED. AND TO THE GIRL FOR WHO I FEEL
THIS DOOM,LOOK HERE...FUCK YOU AND THE MOON!!
WHAT IS
A JUGGALO..WHAT IS A JUGGALO? LET ME THINK FOR A SECOND. OH,HE GETS BUTT-
NAKED. AND THEN HE WALS THROUGH THE STREETS WINKING AT FREAKS,WITH
A TWO-LITER STUCK IN HIS BUTTCHEEKS. WHAT IS A JUGGALO? HE
JUST DON'T CARE. HE MIGHT TRY TO PUT A WEAVE IN HIS NUT HAIR.
CUZ HE COULD CARE LESS WHAT A BITCH THINKS,HE TELL HER THAT HER
BUTT STINKS,AND ALL THAT. WHAT IS A JUGGALO? HE DRINKS LIKE
A FISH,AND THEN HE STARTS HUGGING PEOPLE LIKE A DRUNK BITCH.
NEXT THING HE'S PICKING FIGHTS WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS,THEN
HE STARTS WITH THE HUGGING AGAIN-FUCK! WHAT IS A JUGGALO?
A FUCKING LUNATIC,SOMEBODY WITH A ROPE TIED TO HIS DICK. THEN
HE JUMPS OUT A TEN STORY WINDOW.....OH!
WHAT IS A JUGGALO?? A JUGGALO. ASK WHAT IT IS WELL FUCK IF
I KNOW! WHAT IS A JUGGALO? I DON'T KNOW,BUT I'M DOWN WITH THE
CLOWN AND I'M DOWN FOR LIFE,YO!
SOUTHWEST? WE JUGGALOS. DOWN RIVER? WE JUGGALOS. JEFFERSON?
WE JUGGALOS. FUCKIN EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS. I'M THE
JUGGALUGGALUGGERONI. GET THE FUCK UP,GET THE FUCK OUT OF
HERE!
WHAT IS A JUGGALO? A DEAD BODY. WELL HE AIN'T REALLY DEAD BUT
HE AIN'T LIKE ANYTHING THAT YOU'VE EVER MET BEFORE. HE'LL
EAT MONOPOLY AND SHIT OUT CONNECT FOUR! WHAT IS A JUGG..?
WHAT THE FUCK? MAN THAT SHIT IS WHACK. DON'T WORRY BOUT MY
SHIT,JUST RAP MUTHAFUCKER! WHAT IS A JUGGALO? HE AIN'T A
BITCH BOY,HE'LL WALK THROUGH THE HILLS AND BEAT DOWN A RICH
BOY. WALKS RIGHT UP IN THE HOUSE WHILE YOU'RE HAVING SUPPER,
AND DIPS HIS NUTS IN YOUR SOUP...OOP! WHAT IS A JUGGALO?
WELL HE AIN'T A PHONEY,HE'LL WALK UP AND BUST A NUT IN YOUR
MACARONI,AND WATCH YOU SIT THERE AND FINISH UP THE LAST BIT,
CUZ YOU'RE A STUPID ASS DUMB FUCKIN IDIOT! WHAT IS A JUGGALO?
HE'S A GRADUATE. HE GRADUATED FROM...WELL,AT LEAST HE'S GOT
A JOB,HES NOT A DUMB PUTZ,HE WORKS FOR HIMSELF SCRATCHIN HIS
NUTS,HA! WHAT IS A JUGGALO? A HULKAMANIAC. HE POWER BOMBS
MUTHAFUCKERS INTO THUMBTACKS. PEOPLE LIKE HIM TILL THEY FIND
OUT HE'S UNSTABLE. HE SABU'D YOUR MAMA THROUGH A COFFEE
TABLE.
(CHORUS 3X)
DETROIT? WE JUGGALOS! CLEVELAND? WE JUGGALOS! ST.LOUIE?
WE JUGGALOS! EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS! EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!
EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS! FUCKIN' EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!
EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!
WHAT IS A JUGGALO???
HOUSE OF
HORRORS...."HEY THERE! DO YOU LIKE EXCITEMENT?""YEAH.""DO YOU LIKE SUSPENSE?"
"YEAH.""DO YOU LIKE NELL CARTER?""TST-NO!""GOOD,CUZ YOU WON'T
FIND HER HERE. THIS IS THE HOUSE OF HORRORS. AND FOR YOU ITS
ABSOLUTELY FREE,STEP RIGHT IN.""THANKS.""SAY NO MORE STUPID
ASS,YOUR BREATH SAYS ENOUGH."
ITS SO DARK. DON'T LOSE ME. C'MON,I FOUND A DOOR.
WABUGA-WOO WA!! WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS! YOU BORN IN
A BARN? SHUT THE FUCKING DOORS! AND SIT DOWN,CUZ I'M ABOUT TO
SCARE YOU...Bbbbbblblblblb,OK NOW I DARE YOU,CLOSE YOUR EYES
OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH AND COUNT TO TEN. DON'T WANNA,HUH,CUZ YOU
KNOW MY NUTS ARE GOING IN! I'M TWISTED,I'LL CUT YOUR FINGER
OFF AND STICK IT IN YOUR BUTT,OOOUUUUHHHH,AND GLUE IT SHUT!
THIS IS WHEN I GET CRAZY,LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING,Bbbbbb!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT DON'T MEAN NOTHING,HE HE! BUT
IT SCARED YOU CUZ PEOPLE DON'T BE DOING THAT SHIT,BUT ME,Bbbbb,
BITCH,Bbbbb,I'M ALL ABOUT IT! GUESS WHAT? I'M A SERIAL KILLER
ITS A BAD HABIT! I KILLED TONY,LUCKY CHARMS,AND THE SILLY
RABBIT,UH! CUT THE LIGHTS OFF,SEE THAT SHIT,I'M GLOWIN',
ALRIGHT I'M DONE,CUT EM' BACK ON,WAIT WHERE YOU GOING? WELCOME
TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS!
COMES FROM WITHIN ME,ME,ME
COMES FROM WITHIN ME,HORRORS,HEY
COMES FROM WITHIN ME,ME,ME
COME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS,HEY
(REPEAT CHORUS)
HONEY,I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME. I KNOW,C'MON,THIS MUST BE
THE WAY OUT.
HEY WHAT THE FUCK,COME HERE GUYS,GRAB A CHAIR. DON'T MIND
ME DRINKING MY BEER IN MY UNDERWEAR. C'MON,LETS PLAY SOME
CARDBACK,I JUST GOTTA STORY! "HEY KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE
SHAGS,WHAT THE HELL?" SORRY! LOOK AT THAT SHIT!(WHAT?) YOU
ALMOST GOT ME GROUNDED! I'M A HAFTA TAKE YOUR FOREHEAD AND
POUND IT! I'LL BEND YOU OVER,AND TIE YOU UP TO A POLE,AND
STRETCH YOUR NUTS BACK AND FLING EM UP YOUR BUTTHOLE! I'M
A PHANTOM,LISTEN TO ME,AhHhH,THAT DIDN'T DO IT? HOW BOUT THIS?
AHHHHHHH! I'M SO SCARY THEY CALL ME JOEY TERRIFYING! DID YOU
KNOW THAT?(YEAH) NO YOU DIDN'T I WAS LYING! I REPRESENT IGORS,
I'M YELLING IN TOWN,I'M COMING OUT OF SOUTHWEST,WICKED CLOWNS!!
BATHROOM? SURE! ITS RIGHT THERE DOWN THE HALL! DON'T
FLUSH IT THOUGH,I'LL MAKE DINNER FOR YOU ALL,AMUCK,NAYA,
BAAA,BUT THATS TWO,WAIT A MINUTE,HEY DON'T LEAVE ME YET,HEY!
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS!
(CHORUS2X)
HONEY? WHAT? I'M S-SCARED. I KNOW SWEETIE,COME ON!
JUMP STEADY,NATE THE MACK,LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,WITH
BILLY BILL AND RUDE BOY,(WHAT ABOUT EM?) NOTHIN! THEY'RE MY
BOYS,I JUST HAD TO GIVE EM PROPS! AND TOGETHER WE FORM THE
CYCLOPS! HEHEHEHEHE LOOK AT YOU,HEHE,YOU'RE A BITCH! SHOULD
I LET YOUR ASS GO? HAHAHAHA-NO! I'LL LET YOUR BITCH OUT,
BUT YOU GET THE BONE! RUN ALONG SUGAR TITS HE AIN'T COMING
HOME!
"DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU,
BITCH!!"
BOOGIE
WOOGIE
WOO....... THE BEAST LIVES,OUT OF THE RAGING STORM,IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. THE
RAVENOUS BLOOD SICK CREATURE SEARCHES FOR ITS SACRIFICE. THROUGH
THE HIDEOUS DARKNESS IT LURCHES,DRIVEN BY DEATH ITSELF. ONLY
THE SATISFACTION OF SLAUGHTER WILL CAUSE IT TO RETURN TO THE
DARKNESS FROM WHICH IT CAME.
BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO...(2X)
BOYS AND GIRLS,ITS NIGHTY NIGHT TIME!
HAPPY J THE CLOWN HAS A
NURSERY RHYME,ITS ABOUT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN,KEEP YOUR LIGHT
ON AS LONG AS YOU CAN! CUZ WHEN IT CUTS OFF,SO DOES YOUR HEAD,
BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WAITS UNDER YOUR BED WITH A SHANK,SPLAHH,
UP THROUGH THE BOTTOM! LITTLE JIMMY JIMMY,UUUHHHH,GOT HIM!
ITS THE ONE AND ONLY BOOGIE MAN! HE CREEPS,HE HIDES,HE SNEAKS,
HE SLIDES
IF YOUR LITTLE FEETSIES ARE HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED,
YOU'RE RUNNING ON STUBS,MOTHER FUCKER!! WELL,MOONLIGHT FILLS
THE ROOM THAT YOU SLEEP IN,THINGS GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT,ME CREEPIN.
OUCH! FUCK,I STUBBED MY TOE! IF YOU'D JUST QUIT LEAVING YOUR
SHIT ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR! WELL FUCK IT,YOU'RE DEAD
ANYWAY,AND I'MA LEAVE YOUR HEAD SMACK DEAD IN THE HALLWAY. IN
THE MORNING WHEN YOUR DADDY WALKS OUT,AHHHHH! HIS FOOTS IN YOUR
MOUTH THANKS TO THE BOOGIE MAN!
BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO!(4X)
DOES THE BOOGIE MAN REALLY EXIST? WELL IS YOUR MOTHER A BALD
HEADED FREAK BITCH-YES! YOU FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP DEAD WITH A
BROKEN BROOM STICKING OUT YOUR FOREHEAD! I SING LULLABIES,
TILL YOU DOZE OFF,TIE YOU DOWN AND CHEW YOUR FUCKIN TOES OFF,
AND THEN SPIT EM OUT BACK IN YOUR FACE...SPPPEWWAAA.FUCK,WASH
YOUR FEET BITCH! THE WORLD'S FAMOUS BOOGIE WOOGIE WOO WILL COME
TO YOU...SLUMBER PARTIES,SLEEPOVERS,INTIMATE NIGHTS,WHATEVER
THE OCCASION FOR THE MIDNIGHT HOUR,HE WILL GLADLY COME AND
FUCK THAT SHIT UP! I DON'T BEAT WOMEN,FUCK THAT,I'M ABOVE IT.
BUT I'LL CUT HER FUCKIN NECK AND THINK NOTHING OF IT! YOU DIDN'T
KNOW THE BOOGIE MAN WAS A CLOWN,BUT WHEN YOU SEE THE JUGGLA YOU
HOLDING YOUR JUGULAR. WITH A SWING,CHOP,STAB,SWING,CHOP,YOU
HOLDING YOUR NECK TOGETHER,BUT YOUR NUTS DROP. AND THE COPS DO
THE BEST THEY CAN,THEY PULL THE AXE OUT YOUR FACE AND SAY"WAS
IT THE BOOGIE MAN? WHAT WAS HE WEARING?"
BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO....
PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL ASLEEP,CUZ THE BOOGIE MAN WILL CREEP,
THROUGH MY WINDOW IN MY ROOM,STAB ME WITH A BROKEN BROOM. PLEASE
DON'T LET ME FALL ASLEEP,CUZ THE BOOGIE MAN WILL CREEP,THROUGH
MY WINDOW IN MY ROOM,STAAAHHH...BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!
IT'S THE INCREDIBLE,UNDEADABLE BOOGIE MAN! GO AHEAD,PULL THE
COVERS OVER YOUR HEAD,HIDE UNDEWR EM,HE DON'Y GIVE A FUCK!
IT'LL JUST MAKE IT THAT MUCH EASIER FOR HIM TO SUFFOCATE YOUR
FACE! THERE'S THREE WAYS TO STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I DO...
WHAT? YOU THINK I'M GONNA TELL YOU? "MOM,CAN YOU LEAVE THE
DOOR OPEN A BIT?" THANKS! AN EASY WAY IN YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
NOW I STRETCH YOUR NECK OUT AND PLAY IT LIKE A BANJO,BOOM,
DARM,BOOM,DARM,LIKE THAT SHIT YO? THEN I STRETCH IT OUT AND
FLING YOUR HEAD THROUGH THE WALL,IT'S THE BOOGIE MAN Y'ALL!
BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO!
THE
NEDEN
GAME...... LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE. HE'S A SKITSOFRANIC,SERIAL
KILLER CLOWN WHO SAYS WOMEN LOVE HIS SEXY SMILE. LETS FIND OUT
IF HIS CHARM WILL WORK ON SHARON. SHARON,WHATS YOUR QUESTION?
"CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE,I BELIEVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS LAST FOREVER,
SO LETS SAY YOU WERE TO COME OVER TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE TO HAVE
DINNER WITH ME AND MY FAMILY. TELL ME.WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO MAKE
THAT FIRST IMPRESSION REALLY STICK?"
LETS SEE.HMM,WELL I'D HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. I MIGHT SHOW UP
IN A TUX-HA! BUT I DOUBT IT! I'D PROBLY JUST SHOW UP NAKED LIKE
I ALWAYS DO,AND LOOK YOUR MAMA IN THE EYE AND TELL HER FUCK
YOU!!! HURRY UP BITCH,I'M HUNGRY,I SMELL SPAGHETTI. I'D PINCH
HER LOOPY ASS AND TELL HER GET THE FOOD READY! YOUR DAD WOULD
PROBLY START TRIPPING AND GET ME PISSED,I'D HAVE TO WALK UP AND
BUST HIM IN HIS FUCKING LIPS! IT'S DINNER TIME,WE'RE HEARING GRACE
FROM YOUR MOTHER,I'D PULL A FORTY OUT AND POUR SOME FOR YOUR
LITTLE BROTHER. I'M STEADY STARING AT YOUR SISTER,I'LL TELL YOU
THIS,YOU KNOW FOR ONLY 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS! AFTER THAT,
YOUR DAD WOULD TRY TO JUMP AGAIN,AND ONLY THIS TIME I'LL PUT
THE FORTY TO HIS CHIN. AFTER YOUR MOM DOES THE DISHES AND THE
SILVERWARE,I'D TRY TO FUCK HER TILL I NUT IN MY UNDERWEAR.
NOW LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO. HE'S A PSYCHOPATHIC,
DERANGED CRACKHEAD FREAK WHO WORKS FOR THE DARK CARNIVAL. HE
SAYS WOMEN CALL HIM STRETCH NUTS. SHARON,LETS HEAR YOUR QUESTION.
"I LIKE A MAN WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO SHOW HIS TRUE EMOTIONS,A MAN WHO
EXPRESSES HIMSELF IN HIS OWN SPECIAL WAY. NUMBER TWO,IF YOU WERE
TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,EXACTLY HOW WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW?"
FIRST THING,I COULD NEVER LOVE YOU! YOU SOUND LIKE A RICHY
BITCH,YO FUCK YOU! BUT IF I DID,I'D PROBLY SHOW YOU THAT I CARE,
BY TAKING ALL THESE MOTHER FUCKERS OUTTA HER! I'D GO THROUGH
YOUR PHONE BOOK AND WHACK EM ALL,I'D FIND CONTESTANT NUMBER
ONE AND BREAK HIS FUCKIN JAW!(WHAT?!) ANYONE WHO LOOKED AT YOU
WOULD HAVE TO PAY. I'D BE BLOWING FUCKING NUGGETS OFF ALL DAY!
I'D GRAB YOUR TITTIES AND STRETCH EM DOWN PAST YOUR WASTE. LET EM
GO AND WATCH EM BOTH SPRING UP IN YOUR FACE! I'D SING LOVE SONGS
TO YOU THE BEST I CAN,GET YOU NAKED AND HIT IT LIKE A CAVEMAN!
WHEN WE GO TO THE BEACH AND WALK THROUGH THE SAND,I'D THROW
A LITTLE IN YOUR FACE AND SAY "I'M JUST PLAYIN" AS YOU SPIT IT
ALL OUT,I RUB YOUR BACK,AND GRAB YOUR UNDERWEAR AND WEDGE IT
UP YOUR ASSCRACK!
WELL,IT SOUNDS LIKE CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO IS JUST OVERFLOWING WITH
SENSITIVITY SHARON! ITS A TOUGH CHOICE SO FAR! SHARON,LETS HEAR
YOUR LAST QUESTION AND SEE WHICH ONE IS GOING TO WIN THE RIGHTS TO
YOUR NEDEN.
"OKAY.IF WE WERE AT A DANCE CLUB,AND YOU BOTH NOTICED ME AT THE SAME
TIME,TELL ME,HOW WOULD YOU EACH GET MY ATTENTION AND WHAT WOULD
YOUR PICKUP LINE BE? WHOEVERS THE SMOOTHEST WINS!"
OKAY,FIRST,I'D SLIDE UP TO THE BAR,AND TELL YOU THAT I CAN'T
BELIEVE HOW FUCKIN FAT YOU ARE! I'D TELL YOU THAT I LIKE THE
WAY YOU MAKE YOUR TITTIES SHAKE,AND IF YOU LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT
YOU'D LOOK LIKE RICKI LAKE!
FUCK THAT! YOU'D BE JOCKING ME QUICK! I'D ORDER YOU A DRINK,
AND STIR IT WITH MY DICK! AND TO GET YOUR ATTENTION IN A CROWDED
PLACE,I'D SIMPLY WALK UP AND STICK MY NUTS IN YOUR FACE!
YEAH,FREAK HER WITH YOUR NUTS YO THAT'LL GET HER!
TELL HER THATS SHES FAT,YEAH,THAT'LL WORK EVEN BETTER!
LOOK,FUCK YOU, I GOT A STRONG RAP,SHIT,YOU DON'T WANT CONTESTANT
NUMBER TWO,HE'S MAD WHACK! I WALKED INTO A BARN AND THERE HE
WAS,STANDING UP ON A BUCKET,EEWWA,TRYING TO FUCK IT! IT WAS A
BIG FUCKING SMELLY ASS FARM LLAMA!
DAMN DOG! HOW YOU GONNA DIS YOUR MAMA???
HELLALUJAH...."GIVE GOD THE FIRST PORTION OF YOUR INCOME,SAY THAT WITH ME."
"GIVE GOD THE FIRST PORTION OF YOUR INCOME."
"GIVE IT FIRST! NOT AFTER THE DEDUCTS,NOT AFTER THE SOCIAL
SECURITY,HOSPITALIZATION,AND THE MALNUTRITION. NOT AFTER ALL
THESE THINGS ON YA CHECK,YA SAY "I'M GONNA GIVE GOA A LITTLE
OF WHAT'S LEFT." YOU DO,AND THATS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET FROM GOD."
WHO AM I? I'M NOT THE DEVIL,I CAN TAKE YOU TO MY LEVEL,ABOVE
THE ROCKS,ABOVE THE EARTH,TELL ME WHAT YOUR SOUL IS WORTH. HOW
MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE? HOW MUCH WILL YOU LET ME TAKE? I WILL
GIVE YOU TRANQUILITY,JUST SEND YOUR WEALTH AND CHECKS TO ME.
LIFE IS GOING TO EXPIRE,AND YOUR SOUL WILL BURN IN FIRE. YOU
WILL PERISH IN THE THUNDER UNLESS YOU CALL MY HOTLINE NUMBER.
GOD HAS ASKED YOU TO MAKE ME RICH,ME AND MY FAT WHACK GAUDY
BITCH. ON YOUR TV'S LATE AT NIGHT,SEND THOSE CHECKS AND I'LL
GUIDE YOU TO THE LIGHT.
"DON'T PUT AWAY YOUR WALLETS JUST YET BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE I'D LIKE ALL OF YOU TO MEET,THIS IS LITTLE
JONATHAN. JONATHAN,SAY HELLO TO THE LOVELY PEOPLE."
"HELLO."
"JONATHAN HAS PROBLEMS-TWISTED NECK,TANGLED LEGS,CROOKED SPINE-
BUT WE CAN HEAL THIS BOY! FOR JUST SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS WE CAN
HEAL THIS BOY!"
GOD CALLED ME AND STOPPED BY,AND HE TOLD ME YOU'RE GONNA DIE,UNLESS
YOU BUY MY HOLY WATER,CHECK,CASH,OR A MONEY ORDER. THIS IS TRUE
DON'T QUESTION ME,I'LL EVEN SEND YOU SHIT FOR FREE. IT'S ONLY
TEN BUCKS FOR THE CALL,AND I'LL SEND A PRAYER,NO CHARGE AT ALL! PUT
YOUR LIPS UP TO THE SCREEN,CLOSE YOUR EYELIDS AND INTERVENE,
YOUR LIPS TO MINE,NOW SEND THE CASH,AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE YOU
CAN KISS MY ASS! TAKE YOUR PAYCHECK AND SEND ME HALF,AND I'LL SEND
YOU GOD'S AUTOGRAPH. I'LL GET YOU ALLAH'S AND BUDDAH'S TOO,
EVEN ZEUS,I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO,JUST SEND ME THAT MONEY!
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE HEALED LITTLE JONATHAN?"
"YESH,REVERAND."
"YOU SEE,BROTHERS AND SISTERS,THIS-" BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!
"EXCUSE ME,I TOLD YOU NEVER TO PAGE ME ON A SERMON DAY. YES?
UH-HUH. HALLELUJAH. HOWDY. PEOPLE,THAT WAS THE LORD,TODAY ONLY
HE WILL HEAL THIS BOY FOR JUST FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!"
PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE(4X)
(SHOW ME HOW YOU GIVE,I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE)
YOUR TOTALS TWENTY-TWO ELEVEN,THROW YOUR SET OF KEYS TO HEAVEN.
MAKE THE CHECKS OUT IN MY NAME,ME OR GOD,ITS ALL THE SAME.
BRING YOUR CRIPPLED ASS TO ME,PAY MY USHER THE HOLY FEE. I'LL
BLESS YOUR LEGS,AND BLESS YOUR CHAIR,THEN WHEEL YOUR BITCH ASS
OUTTA HERE! NOW A SPECIAL CEREMONY,THIS PART DON'T COST ANY
MONEY,DRINK A DROP OF BLESSED WATER,NOW I FERTILIZE YOUR
DAUGHTER! EVEN THOUGH I FUCKED A HOOKER,TOOK A BABY GIRL AND
SHOOK HER,YOU'LL STILL BUY ANYTHING I SELL, AND I'LL BE LIVING
WELL,SEE YOU IN HELL!
"FOUR THOUDANS EIGHT HUNDRED,NINE HUNDRED,FIVE THOUSAN-
HALLELUJAH! YOU DID IT BROTHERS AND SISTERS! ARE YOU READY
JONATHAN? LORD ALMIGHTY,WE'VE MET YOUR PRICE,GIVE ME THE HEALING
POWER I CAN FEEL IT LORD! RUMILUMIMAMANAMANOOMI! THIS BOY IS
HEALED!"
"REAWY??"
"NOW,TO THE NAKED EYE IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THIS BOY HAS NOT BEEN
HEALED! BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU,THIS BOY'S SPIRIT HAS BEEN HEALED!
INSIDE THIS TANGLED,MANGLED FRAME IS A HEALED LITTLE BOY. HIS
SPIRIT IS HEALED! HALLELUJAH!"
.......... COUNTRY COOKIN CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? YOU WANT THE RED EYE GRAVY
WITH THAT? WITH CHITLINS OR BLACK EYED PEAS? LEMME CYPHER UP
YOUR BILL HERE....THAT COMES TO FOURTEEN NINETY-FIVE. OKAY,
THAT'LL BE READY QUICKER THAN TWO JIGGLES OF A JACKRABBIT'S
ASS!
DOWN WITH
THE
CLOWN......THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE NINJAS THATS BEEN DOWN SINCE CARNIVAL
OF CARNAGE...NAW FUCK THAT,SINCE DOGBEATS,NAW FUCK THAT,SINCE
BASEMENT CUTS,MOTHAFUCKA!!!
HOW LONG WILL THE JUGGALOS BE DOWN WITH ME? HOW LONG TILL THEY
FORGET ME,CHECK IT OUT. WHAT IF I GREW ANOTHER FUCKING HEAD,AND
HIS NAME WAS VIOLENT ED? AND HE HEAD BUTT ME EVERYTIME I CUSSED,
I WOULD NEED TWO MICROPHONES WHEN I BUST. WOULD YOU SHOW ME LOVE
EVEN WITH ANOTHER HEAD? OR WOULD YOU BE LIKE "FUCK YOU AND ED!" OR
WHAT IF I SOLD OUT LIKE A BITCH,AND TOOK THE MAKEUP OFF AND WENT
SOFT? CALLED MYSELF DETROIT'S SOUTHWEST LOVER,AND PUT MY UGLY ASS
FACE ON THE ALBUM COVER. WITH R&B'S TOP TEN HIT,AND WE HAD JODECI
SINGIN ALL OVER OUR SHIT(AHHHHHH!) FUCK THAT THOUGH,YO,I'M A JUGGALO!
SO DON'T FORGET ME LIKE YOU DID WITH MENUDO!
WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE WORLD'S LIKE FUCK US KILL US??
WHAT WILL YOU BE? DOWN!
WHAT ABOUT WHEN I'M A HUNDRED AND THREE?
WHAT WILL YOU BE? DOWN! DOWN!
WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE WORLD'S LIKE FUCK US KILL US?
WHAT WILL YOU BE?? DOWN!
WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE CARNIVAL COMES TO YOUR TOWN???
I'MA BE DOWN WITH THE CLOWN!!
HOW LONG WILL YOU BE DOWN WITH A GHETTO BUMPKIN? I SAY I'M
SICK IN THE NUGGET AND YOU LOVE IT! I ATE A DEAD BODY,I AIN'T
PROUD OF IT. I TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT AND YOU ALL APPLAUDED! I GOT
PROBLEMS I'M HAUNTED BY A CARNIVAL,I COULD FIND AND TELL A DOCTOR
BUT WHAT FOR? I JUST PUT IT ON TAPE WITH A FAT BEAT,AND MAKE A
QUICK BUCK,I'M LIKE FUCK!! I COULDA CAME OUT SPORTIN SOME HAMMER
PANTS,KICK STEPPIN WITH SHAGGS AND TRYIN TO DANCE. MAKE YOUR MOM
HAPPY KEEPIN IT SOFT,I'D RATHER GRAB MY DICK AND TELL YOUR MOM TO
FUCK OFF! I KNOW THEN YOU'D PROBABLY START TO TRIP,AND SWING AT
ME BUT HIT VIOLENT ED IN THE LIP. LOOK,I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT
I'M TRYIN TO SAY,JUST DON'T FORGET ME LIKE YOU DID WITH ROB BASE!
(CHORUS)
I'MA BE DOWN,I'MA BE DOWN,DOWN WITH THE CLOWN TILL I'M DEAD IN
THE GROUND
(REPEAT)
JUST LIKE
THAT.......JUMP OUTTA BED AND I HEAD FOR THE GRAPE NUTS,EAT EM QUICK OR THEY
THEY SOGGY AND THAT SUCKS! TRY TO FIND A CLEAN PAIR OF SOCKS AND
A SHIRT,STILL SPORT THE SAME DRAWERS EVEN THOUGH THEY HURT!
IN THE FRIDGE THERES A FAYGO,IT TASTES ILL,CUZ ITS FLATTER THAN
A BITCH ON A BIG WHEEL. I GOT A FEW MONEYBACKS AND A LITTLE
CHANGE,SO I'M HEADING TO THE STORE WHEN THE PHONE RINGS.
"WHAT UP MAN CHECK IT OUT,I KNOW THIS BITCH,SHE GOTS ANOTHER
FRIEND WITH HER AND HER DAD'S RICH,IF WE FIND US A RIDE UP TO
WYANDOT,GUARUNTEED WE CAN FUCK EM' BOTH ON THE SPOT."
OH SHIT,LET ME CALL BILL-BILL,I WANNA GO AND LET MY NUTS
THROUGH THE WINDMILL. HE AIN'T HOME,FUCK,I'LL CALL MIKE CLARK,CUZ
I KNOW HE CAN GET THE FUCKING SKYLARK. HE SAID HE CAN BUT HE'S
BROKE AND HE NEEDS GAS,BUT I WANNA BUY THIS FAYGO,THINK FAST!
I KNOW MY BROTHER JUMPSTEADY'S GOT A FEW BONES,BUT THATS GOING
THROUGH HIS HIT WHEN HE AIN'T HOME.
"NEVERMIND,J,LEGS LONED ME A TEN. NO NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN YOUR
HEAD AGAIN. TELL MIKE TO SCOOP ME UP ON THE WAY,AND THERES FAYGO
AND NEDENHOES ALL DAY!"
FUCK YEAH THROW MY PROWINGS ON MY FEET,LOCK THE HOUSE AND WAIT
FOR THEM IN THE STREET. I WISH I HAD A PIECE OF GUM OR SOMETHING,
FUCK,MY MOUTH STILL KINDA TASTES LIKE GRAPE NUTS. HERE THEY COME,
NOPE,IT WASN'T THEM,SEEM LIKE THE SAME CARS KEEP DRIVING BY
AGAIN. IT PULLS UP....
"HEY MAN YOU'RE OUTTA LUCK..."
W-WHADDYA SAY MAN?
BOOM!!
FUCK!
PASS ME
BY........."DOES THIS EXCITE YOU? THINK ABOUT IT! DOES IT NOT STAGGER THE
IMAGINATION? NO BUILDER ON EARTH CAN CONCEIVE ANY STRUCTURE TO
COMPARE TO THE MANSIONS ABOVE! WON'T THAT BE SOMETHING WHEN YOU
GO TO LIVE IN YOUR OWN MANSION? THERE'LL BE NO WORRY ABOUT PAYING
FOR IT,ITS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF. THERE'LL BE NO WORRY OF BEING
MOVED OUT OF IT,IT WILL BE YOURS FOREVER!!"
I GOT SHOT-AHH! THE MURDER WAS HEINOUS,THE BULLET WENT IN MY
EYEBALL AND OUT MY ANUS. AND I WAS HIT,THAT WAS IT,ON THE SPOT.
FLASH,I WOKE UP IN A PARKING LOT. AND I'M SITTING IN A '64
RINEKEYS,WITH SHAGGY DOPE WRITTEN ON THE CAR KEYS. I LOOK AROUND
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS POSSIBLE,I'M DEAD AND I MADE IT TO THE
CARNIVAL. I WALKRD IN,ITS EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF,EVERYBODY AND
THEY MAMA GOT CLOWN LOVE! JAPANESE,LEBANESE,AND CHINESE,PORTUGESE,
AND SOUTHWEST GHEETO G'S. HANGIN OUT WITH REDNECK TRUCK DRIVERS,
INSTEAD OF ALWAYS CALLING EACH OTHER PILEDRIVERS. I SEEN MY OLD
HOMEY,HE DIED IN A DRAG,CHILLIN' WITH TWO BITCHES,"WHAT UP SHAGGS?"
AND HE PASSED ME A BLUNT LIKE A TREE TRUNK,I TRIED TO HIT IT,BUT
COULDN'T EVEN FUCK WITH IT. AND TO THINK I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID
TO DIE,AND I AIN'T NEVER GOING BACK TO WONDER WHY.
WE ALL GONNA DIE,BUT I'M NOT GONNA FRY,EVEN THOUGH MOST NEVER
TRY,I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS PASS ME BY,NO.(REPEAT)
I WAS BORN. FIRST THEY THREW ME IN A SHIT PILE. I DEALT WITH
IT,AND LIVED THERE FOR A WHILE. I GOT DISSED ON,PISSED ON AND BEAT
DOWN. MUTILATED,AND TOSSED OUT A DEAD CLOWN. NEXT THING YA KNOW
I'M CHILLIN AT THE BIG TOP,FREE MONEY AND MAD BITCHES NON-STOP.
NO WATER,ITS FAYGO ON TAP,I WASH MY HAIR AND MY FACE AND MY
BUTTCRACK WITH IT. CUZ I CAN,CUZ I'M FAT PAID,I GOTTA FIVE STORY
FUNHOUSE WITH A MAID,AND SHE WALKS AROUND WITH HER TITTIES
HANGING OUT,AND WHEN I COUGH SHE COME AND DUST MY BALLS OFF. I'M
HEADED UP TO SHOW,I'M GONNA SEE JIMMY HENDRIX,SELENA,AND EAZY E.
ELVIS TRIED TO OPEN UP AND GOT DISSED OFF,WE GOT PISSED OFF,
BECAUSE HE SOUNDED LIKE BUTT. THERE'S NO FIGHTS,ITS A PERFECT
MATCH,HILLBILLIES IN THE CROWD TRYIN TO CABBAGE PATCH. AND TO
THINK,I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID TO DIE,BUT I AIN'T NEVER GOING BACK
TO WONDER WHY..
(CHORUS 2X)
DID YA EVER BURN YOU FINGER ON SOMETHING,HEY,WELL PICTURE THIS,
YOUR NUTS BURNING THAT WAY. AND A ROMAN CANDLE STICKIN IN YOUR
BUTTHOLE,THATS WHERE THE GREEDY STANK MOTHER FUCKERS GO. THIS IS
ALL HELL NOW,WE LIVING IN IT. BUT THIS BULLSHIT WILL BE OVER IN
A MINUTE. AND THEN ITS OFF TO THE FAYGOS AND NEDENHOES,NEW CLOTHES
AND PATENT LEATHER FOR YOUR TOES. AND WHILE YOU SIT AROUND CRYING
FOR YOUR DEAD FRIEND,HES CHILLIN UP THERE,HEY,GETTIN MAD ENDS.
HE'S PROBABLY THERE TRYIN TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU'RE SAD,HES
ON A BEACH GETTIN FAT,YOU GOT IT BAD. AND FOR THOSE WHO AIN'T
DOWN FOR THE NEXT MAN,WHO ROB FROM THE POOR AND SNATCH ALL YOU
CAN,AND ANY CHICKEN TALKIN' SHIT,LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING,HOLD
A LIGHTER TO YOUR BALLS AND YOU'LL SEE WHATS COMIN'.
(KEEP REPEATING CHORUS)
